My reasons for crying:

Wednesday: 10:00 am I didn’t feel like ‘baby sitting’ people, but yet I had to at work.  2:00 pm A corporate lady SNAPPED at me on the phone while I was in the middle of a sentence, for no reason.  She emailed me later apologizing b/c I had ‘no idea’ how her day had been - um, yes, lady: DITTO.  7:00 pm At dinner with Papa, the stupid waiter forgot that Tatum was a young child - and put a sizzling hot skillet right in front of her - and yes, she grabbed it. Yelp - Scream - Cry.  Waiter: “um….I’m sorry….um….can I get you some ice…..wow….I’m sorry…..”  We left the restaurant.  7:50 pm Tatum better, then she falls with a toy, cuts up her lip & gums are bleeding.  Yelp - Scream - Cry.

Thursday: 5:45 am wake up for a very important meeting in Dallas.  11:20 am Intense (yet understood) questioning on our desire & call to plant a church in Austin.  11:45 am I begin to cry as I speak of Chris’ strengths - I can’t seem to get past Strength #2 - due to emotions - tears in front of 5 grown men.  12:20 pm Still teary-eyed speaking of our calling to Austin - and hoping that our words are convincing these gentlemen.  I don’t like to feel like I have to prove myself sometimes.  12:30 pm  These gentlemen pray for us - and I’m teary eyed and blotchy, they show me to the restroom.  2:00 pm  My hair is becoming flat because I am out of hairspray. I hate flat hair.  4:00 pm Getting on the road back to Austin and I am completely over-analyzing our meeting - thinking the worst (and furious that I cried in front of people).  4:40 pm Still over analyzing and causing a migraine for myself and I also feel bloated.  5:30 pm  Tatum wakes up from nap in car - extremely hungry.  We stop to get milk from a gas station - back on road - I feed her granola bar while she drinks her milk.  Yelp - Scream - Cry.  She’s choking/gagging while we are going 80 mph on I35 South.  I jump to the backseat while Chris pulls over.  Tatum throws up her stuff - and I sit in the back and sing with her, play blocks, and read a book.    6:50 pm 5 miles from home and Tatum is starving. More Yelp - Scream - Cry.  I am practically Yelp - Scream - Crying myself.

Good reasons to cry for today:

10:30 am Tatum got to hang out with “Tish” while we had our meeting at the District Office.  1:00 pm Had lunch with Miche & Lydia - who have returned from 6+ long years in New Mexico!  3:00 pm Met up with Michelle at Chic Fil A and saw Tate for the first time!  7:15 pm We are safe in our living room feeding Tatum dinner.  8:00 pm Tatum is playful and happy and sitting on my lap or dancing/singing a song.  Makes you forget about all the Yelp - Scream - Cry.  8:15 pm  Tatum asleep. Mommy blogging.  Needing a big fat hug from Chris.  Signing off.

Categories: Thoughts
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Wow, it’s quiet today!  Is everyone at lunch, on vacation, in bad moods - I feel like the entire floor can hear me eating my popcorn (1 point Weight Watchers), hoping that my Hillsongs Live isn’t blaring too loudly “Our God is an Awesome God” (Jen, An - we know this song well - the older verson…..Patrick Combs….singing bass…….yeah, you know you remember).

Chris is gone this weekend to a Church Plant thingy in Dallas (which happens to be held within 10 miles of two of my closest friends!), and I miss him!  While he’s away, Nicole and I will attempt to entertain their mom and husband! Wish us luck!  It’s so freaking hot outside - what’s there to do? We are contemplating the Capitol, Bob Bullock’s Museum, and/or LBJ Library.  San Antonio/San Marcos are OUT of the running. They require too much activity outside.

And by the way - why has no one noticed my new hair cut?  It’s super cute.  I mean - I’m even fixing it!!!  I don’t get it. I almost walked into my boss’ office yesterday and said ’so, do you like my hair?’  just to get a compliment! HA.  Maybe no one has noticed because I have literally worn my hair in a pony tail for 3+ weeks in a row.  So, maybe they just think: wow, Summer CAN fix her hair.  Thanks Amanda for giving me a good cut. Even if no one else notices or likes it, I do. That’s all that matters.

I’d like to welcome Karina Barazza-Branham and Kimberly Masengale to the “I am 30, Hear Me Roar”Club!  Life is good.  I am attempting to quit Sonic.  I know I’ve said this phrase many times in my life - but this past month, I get this icky feeling after drinking my DP.  So sad - but time to let go. 

Ok, my bag of popcorn is finished. Yum Yum.  On to HUSH HUSH now for their 2 for $10 sale. Wish me luck!

Categories: Thoughts
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Here are the cutest pictures from July 2008 so far.  I literally tear up every time I look at them.

Categories: Thoughts
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HOA, as in Home Owners Association.  I decided I needed to find a new avenue to meet some other people in our community, and what better way to become involved in my HOA social committee.  Some of you may be rolling your eyes, some of you may be laughing, and others of you might think, “you mean all this time, summer, you HAVEN’T been in the HOA?”  its like PTA, but for housing communities.

Don’t worry, I won’t run to be a member on the board or drive around enforcing the “law” of the land at Parkside Community.  But I will meet other guys/gals, and see where the friendship takes us.  Maybe even someone is looking to be part of a church (and I can help with that, too!).

I met Michelle a few months ago at my garage sale.  She’s across the street, two young kiddos, and works at the American Red Cross.  She asked if I’d be interested in helping with a July 4th picnic for our community–SURE is my answer.  I sometimes don’t get why others don’t get super excited about meeting new people and inviting them to a place to connect to others–shrug.  Then I remember, maybe my desire to be a social butterfly is abnormal. :)  Who knows.

Either way, me, Michell, and “LuLu” put on a neighborhood picnic on July 4th.  And it was fun.  Sad that Tatum had to nap half way through it, and missed jumping in the inflatables AND face painting, but either way, I think our neighborhood was excited that we did something.

And now we are famous. I mean come on—when you make your HOA WEBSITE….you’ve hit a major mark in life. HAHA.  Check it out.  www.parksideatslaughter.org 

Click on the link that says July 4th Picnic to the right.  Scroll down a little, 7th pic down on the right,  you’ll see me laughing hysterically at something—again, maybe this is abnormal. I think most people are funny and I laugh at anything.

Categories: Thoughts
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What a productive feeling to have gone to church, eaten lunch, AND gone to the store—all by 1:00 pm.  NICE.  I love Sunday’s!  Here is just a snap shot of Tatum this morning on our way to church—she now poses for pictures!  Enjoy.

Categories: Thoughts
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It’s time to write a new post.  And I’m blank on what to say. Maybe because my day did not start as I had planned.  Chris and I both jumped out of bed at 7:20 am.  I am normally out the door by then.  Ooops.   So, I hate being late when I had specific things on my mind to accomplish before the rest of the office comes in the doors.  That threw me off pretty good.

Then I come to work, already a little frazzled, but wanted to spend some alone moments in my office before becoming social (aka get in a better mood).  I boot up my computer and noticed a few emails from random people in the office about random small things were answered, not by me, but by another individual in the office.  Long story short: I like my job. I struggle with feeling like I’m battling tasks with the former Lead Admin who was recently promoted.  She’s great and we get along.  However, I learn better when I can take ownership of a task and ask questions when needed….not 1) be told what to do instead of it being explained how and why and 2) being cc’ed on an email answering the question that I needed to answer for our employee.  It’s like I’m just this middle person–not the go to person.  This has happened for two weeks now, and again, I’m telling you, they are SMALL things, but enough to get under my skin and make me sit at my desk with feelings of insecurity, like I’m not capable or fast enough to respond appropriately.

Why do these little things bother me?  I’m not a naturally insecure person.  How can I approach her, calmly and collectively, without falling all over this awful insecurity that I’m not living up to the right standard?  I know learning 7 years worth of information will take a while, and I think that things are going really great.  I’ve been given good feedback.  But it’s little instances like this, responding when I should be responding, or taking over a situation before it’s directed to me to handle….aauugh.  I’m so frustrated today.  1 1/2 more hours.  Need to blow off steam. Maybe taking a while in 100 degree weather will help. Sorry, Tatum, you are going to have to sweat it out with me. 

Categories: Thoughts
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Early bird takes the worm. Early bird catches the worm. Early bird EATS the worm? Early bird gets the worm? What on earth is it and where did this lovely expression come from?  What does it mean? The first bird to get up in the morning has accessibility to all the worms?  Yuck.  So, I must have the accessibility to all the worms–but I don’t find that rewarding to myself.  I don’t want a worm. I want more sleep.

I designated myself the “early bird” this week arriving to work at 6:45 am (yes, even with a shower and clean hair).  It’s just two days, that’s not going to kill anybody (aka me).  But seeing my wonderful husband still sleeping and not catching a glimpse or a peep from Tatum before walking out the door makes it no fun!  But duty calls with big boss being in town for a meeting. Need to ensure all things are running smoothly before the meeting begins.

I’m in love with So You Think You Can Dance, thanks to Nicole.  My heart beats fast during the performances and I even started clapping after one last night, not realizing that I literally was alone in the living room and not at the live performance. 

An old friend is visiting Austin with her family this week and we get to meet up for dinner tonight!  Kendra Johnson-now Kimball.  I haven’t seen Kendra in YEARS!  Kendra and I became friends when I started working at Casa View Assembly in Garland, TX during my college years.  Kendra, to me, was cool! Had her own apartment (with a HUGE bed), own car, own REAL job with REAL money….and just an all around wonderful gal that I loved hanging out with.  She is now married, two boys, and I believe training for a marathon!? What is with all my friends getting fit? :) 

Categories: Thoughts
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After being bored out of my mind on Saturday, I made Chris solemnly swear that

I, Chris, will not play on the internet all day

I, Chris, will make sure we are not in the house all day

Well…you get the drift

I somehow managed to not leave the house on Saturday and that is a rare occurrence!

By 8:00 pm that night, I was literally pulling out my hair, sitting sideways on the couch starring at Chris, thinking he would automatically know how to entertain me!

My child was asleep, so we were STUCK! I hate being stuck.

So, Sunday was the day. The Day ‘O Fun. The day to breathe the fresh air, maybe get a little sun, and enjoy my family. We attended a cool church that morning and then headed home for Tatum to nap. Naps aren’t quick. Then after the nap, she has to eat. Eating isn’t quick either. So, its finally Day ‘O Fun time. 2:00 pm.

We pack up the car and head to the park. I had Uno, Dominos, Sonic Dr. Pepper, Tatum’s toys, lawn chairs, blankets…you name it. We were ready.

Havin’ Fun. Fun Fun Fun.

We lug our stuff to the lawn at the park, Tatum on my right hip with my drink, two bags, and sheet on my left hip. Chris had his hands full with the chairs and other blankets. We find a good spot. Lots of open space, not too far away from people to be isolated, but far enough that you can’t hear their conversations. Yes…this is going to be nice. Going to be good. Maybe we’ll start off the day at the park with playing a game.

Tatum’s enjoying the dominoes that I’m setting out, and BEHOLD, the sun appears. That darn sun, I had forgotten about that. I didn’t calculate that into my plan. The fun is becoming not so fun. It’s hot. It’s icky. It’s smoking my skin. Ouch. Sizzle. My pale white skin—Tatum’s pale white skin.

15 minutes. Maybe not even that long. We left. I forgot the sunscreen. And shade—where for the love of God is the shade!?

We come home, and I’m not happy. My Day ‘O Fun failed miserably. Now I’m back at the place I DO NOT want to be…the house.

Then I see Chris pulling out Tatum’s little pool and rigging up some kind of system outside. He tells me “go get your bathing suit on & Tatum ready.” Hey, at this point, I’m up for anything. So, we are suited up and head outside to the backyard.

Chris has put a HUGE sheet of plastic down, with large rocks at each corner to hold down the plastic. At the top is Tatum’s pool filled with water, and on the side of the plastic is our fancy pants water hose that is creating……..

A Slip ‘N Slide!

Miniature version of course. He’s a genius. Tatum is happy. I’m happy. And Chris is laying on his belly splashing water in Tatum’s face. What gets better than that on a Sunday.

Categories: Thoughts
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My Jennifer Ann Poskocil-Kailey just recently wrote a post about the 20 Things She’ll Never Do.  It was fun reading it, so here we go.

1) I’ll never eat Stuffed Crust Pizza from Pizza Hut ever again.  I could make this pizza for you, considering I have 4 years of experience of waitress, cook, and shift manager under my belt.  Yuck.

2) I’ll never forget the times that I made Jennifer Ann pee in her pants from laughing so hard.

3) I’ll never forget the feeling of when my mom dropped me off at College in Waxahachie, and then had to leave.  I was devastated and scared.  She wouldn’t be just an hour away….but six hours away.

4) I’ll never eat veggies. Ever.

5) I’ll never enjoy the experience of camping in the outdoors.  There must always be electrical outlets please.

6) I will never be the domestic wife of the 1950’s.  I don’t think any of us will.

7) I will never forget the days of the skating rink.  Oh, how marvelous those days were.

I will never forget the moment that Chris McCool stood at my mom’s duplex door to pick me up for dinner Christmas 2002.

9) I will never forget when a friend in college told me that I should speak up more…that I have good things to say.  I was very shy then.  I became a more confident and changed person after that.

10) I will never forget the feeling of traveling Europe and speaking into the lives of students.  I was living part of my dream.

11) I will never wear my bangs in teased up waves again with RAVE hairspray.

12) I will never say “Kids aren’t for me” again. They are and I want more.

13) I will never buy a brand new car off the lot again.  I will always go for newly used.

14) I will never stop loving to win card games against my husband (or anyone else for that matter).

15) I will never cut my hair boy short.  I can’t imagine how awful that would look.

16) I will never try to pre-plan each day of my life.  It’s too much work and creates too much anxiety. I am learning the enjoyment of small daily moments while keeping large goals in front of me.

17) I will never turn my back on a friend. No matter our history or lack of history. 

18) I will never stop striving for God’s best for myself and my family. 

19) I will never not visit Sonic at least once a week.

20) I will never forget when I told Chris I thought I was pregnant. He made me take 3 tests, and then wanted me to wait a week and take it again. Ha. Yea right.  I went to the doctor.

Categories: Thoughts
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