As a youth, I remember listening to the complaints of the moral ineptitude of Bill Clinton. How could the man disgrace the oval office? Were the Democrats waging a culture war against all things decent in American society? Was this type of personal misconduct the future of the nation? Eight years ago, we cast our vote in a red sea of frustration hoping that a message would be sent to Washington that change was needed. My family is Reagan Republican who seeks to restore the gleam in the country’s then shady eye.

Like most children, when I reached voting age, my parent’s opinion greatly shaped my view of the world. In 2000, I cast my vote for George W. Bush, believing in the humble, compassionate conservatism that would follow Clinton’s economic success while adding a little ethical decency to Capitol Hill. The rest of my Southern Pentecostal family also leaned to the right.

Six years later and horrified at the current state of both the nation and the world, my family is looking left. The fear that George W. used to win back the presidency has begun to scare us in the opposite direction. Yes, the world is a scary place, but the Republicans have been behind the wheel for the past six years. Why should we stay on a course whose direction is headed over a cliff? Slowly, but steadily, I have begun to cherish the civil rights that our country was built. I believe everyone should be treated equal, eliminating poverty is central, fighting global warming is crucial, health care for everyone is inevitable, and I finally support withdrawing troops from Iraq (I believe that the United States should be a model of democracy and not secret torture).

The fog of the Bush presidency is beginning to lift and as our eyes clear, and the majority of the nation begins to look at the facts, we are slowly beginning to see leaders who tell the truth. I actually favored John Edwards before he suspend his campaign for the Presidency. It’s the first time I felt confident about a Democrat. I know all the reasons why Conservative Christians don’t feel as confident - but none of them make sense to me. I believe marriage is between one man and one woman for a lifetime, however I seek a safer world for gays and lesbians. I support life but desire to see equal legislation for the oppressed as there is for the issue of abortion. The crisis of poverty in America (the world for that matter) is a greater problem. No matter the issue I don’t feel the best approach is laws to ban anyone’s freedom - we become slaves to those laws and as a Christian believer I champion freedom.

So where do I stand? I don’t trust McCain because I don’t desire war and he has left me wanting. Barack Obama feels like a leader. A possible glimmer of hope restored seems to be coming back with the wisdom and reason of leaders like Senator Obama. He stands apart from Senator Clinton, who is currently engaged in a desperate campaign to tarnish Barack Obama as a “roll of the dice” who won’t know what to do when that 3am phone call rings in the White House. Does this fear tactic sound familiar? It should, as it is what our country has been experiencing for almost a decade. Clinton may say that she represents change, but her campaign is proof that she will offer more of the same.

But like many of my friends I don’t know if I can support Barack Obama? The jest of it is I don’t know why? He preaches change - I like change, want change. He shares many of the views of J. Edwards and they could become running mates soon. But I still snub the thought of voting for Obama. I think it’s the message of “Hope”? I believe in hope but not in myself or my government. We have to be careful of this human experiment with government and legislation - it has proven to be a fiasco. Various societies and cultures have tried everything from democracy, republicanism, monarchies, dictatorships, socialism, capitalism, communism, to isolationism-all to no avail. None of these have offered any hope for mankind’s survival. The insufficiency and failure of human civilizations and their “hopes” serve only to highlight the fact that mankind is incapable of perfecting government and solving the plagues that come from our inherited sin nature. Because of our failure as a civilization, we cry out for help; but there is only one source of help that can offer true hope-Jesus Christ. Jesus was born into the world for this very purpose.

So I continue to watch and ask the question - can Obama deliver change? His delivered enough messages of hope and should continue. So I linger in the shadow of the crowds in “hope” of the moment when I believe he can carry out true change.

Categories: Thoughts, faith, life