you sound like me after i listened to stop this train by John Mayer. I got that hard lump in my throat, and my ears got all red.
at least you are on the right track and are not afraid to say “when”. i mean that is a good place to start. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it, correct.

There is a lot to be said about “small town living.”

I would say that while it seems to have to do with a “small town” vs. “big city” living it doesn’t need to. There are plenty of people who live in a big city who do live at a different pace of life, they do make choices about what is important and what gets their time, just as people in a small town can be too busy to spend time with their kids.

I think it’s more about our own changing priorities. What we used to value or think is important as opposed to now what we really value. If I up and moved to a small town or even Europe things would eventually be the same as they were before unless I made the conscious effort to change.

It’s weird how much I always wanted a big career with lots of power and influence and now I look at what it takes to get there and I’m just not willing to do it. I’m not willing to sacrifice time to get to where I used to want to be. And I don’t even have a baby to think about.

Mostly, I just agree with you and I wanted to voice it. But I challenge us to really make the tough choices when we need to, not just change towns. Will we make the right calls when it comes to how much money we can make, or the type of house we can live in, or the better car we want, or whatever. I have a much bigger respect for people who choose to stay at home and work hard to make it on one income. They’ve made their choice about priorities and I hope I’ll be able to make the right choice for me when I need to.

sounds like you’re ready for a change, summer….and when that change comes you’ll know it and you’ll respond the way you need to…. there are always going to be “unhealthy” parts of our everyday lives that need to change (whether big or small)…..and being as stubborn as i am, it takes me a while to deal with those “unhealthy” parts

thanks for sharing your thoughts. thanks for making me think about my desires vs. priorities vs. what really should matter.
i love you.

Summerella,
I am tearing up as I read this because I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been there and it is SO hard! I spent several years after I had Ethan feeling this way–that there weren’t enough hours in the day for work, motherhood, being a wife, the house, & the list goes on! We at a lot of fast food, tv dinners, etc just to get more out of our evenings after work. It took a lot of praying and being patient until I got into a situation at work where I have more time at home with my kids. Know that you are not alone in your feelings and I’m always here for you if you ever need to cry, laugh, or just vent!!! Sometimes I wish things were simpler today like they were when we were little. My mom didn’t work, but they also lived on one car, no student loans, no huge gas prices, no childcare cost, etc. Hang in there, girl, it will get better!!! I love you!

Oh, let me just add that as long as I live I will never forget the night we stayed at your Grandparent’s house the night OJ was getting chased by police….it makes me laugh just thinking about it!

Summer — I’m not a big “blogger” but I completely understand where you are coming from on this one so I had to comment. I also ran as quickly as I could from the town of 3,000 where I was raised, and where 90% of my family resides, to seek fame and fortune in the big city. Things do seem to move at a slower pace in small towns, don’t they? But I agree with Vida — it’s not all about the place, it’s the people. I am convinced that if my parents, who were born, raised and have lived basically their entire lives in that one town, were to move to Austin, there lives would be no more hectic than they are now. True, it is probably easier to prioritize the important things in life without all of the exciting distractions of the big city. But Vida nailed it when she said we would all be the same people we are now (with the same hectic lives we have now), if we up and re-located, unless we make a conscious effort to change. Here’s a quote from Joel Osteen on this topic: “Deciding to focus on your top priorities in life is a daily choice. As followers of Christ, the top priority is to share the love and hope that is found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ with others. You can choose to be involved in several activities that are good to do. But, if you try to do everything you’ll wind up being average at many things and not excellent at anything! To live your best life, make time for the key relationships in your life-whether it’s with your spouse, parents, children, or a special friend or relative. People are God’s most precious creation, so do what it takes to share quality time with those the Lord has placed around you.” Sounds good, right? But I know from experience it is extremely difficult not to get so caught up in the “daily grind” that you temporarily lose sight of the important things. My bride does a great job of helping me with that, though. I have heard her say numerous times something like: “Do you really think Hannah or Bella care if we have the nicest, greenest lawn in the neighborhood?” when I would lament about how many things I “needed” to get done on my day off. And she’s right — in the grand scheme of things, is it really going to matter if we don’t have the tidiest house, the greenest lawn, or the smallest amount of dirty laundry in the hamper? Of course not. But when our children are grown, they will remember that their parents weren’t always too busy to “play.” And when the kids are grown and gone, time invested in your spouse now will pay big dividends when it’s just the two of you again. And all of that can be accomplished in Austin, or in a little town in Arkansas, or anywhere. It’s not all about the place — it’s the people. : )