I grew up in church.  I can’t remember not being in Sunday School as a child and furthermore, thought softball was invented by God (because sports were introduced to me at church).  So I’ve always had to struggle with the concept of no god.  I couldn’t understand why one couldn’t easily be convinced of God by all the evidence.  People work extra hard to disprove God.  So it wasn’t until today I realized how it feels not to be a believer!

I listen to many podcasts, but I love one particular pastor who is “trendy” these days.  He was talking about being “green” and I realized as I debated with his message that this is what it feels like to be a nonbeliever.  To sit and hear the message and although you know you need to accept his words and action because of all the evidence around you - you chose not to obey.  I mean I know I need to walk more, drive less.  Eat from local farmers and conserve energy.  I’ve seen the rise of disease in my world due to “environment” and I can’t argue with temperature changes (I mean I live in Texas!).  But with all the evidence I still don’t change my lifestyle.  Why?  I WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE MY LIFE!  If I accept what I see in front of me, I would have to change.  I don’t want to change.  I like my life the way it is.  Its easier to use a gas lawnmower than a electric.  But I also know if I don’t change for myself then I should at least change for my daughter and my future generations.

So what do I do with these new feelings?  Do I swallow the red pill or the blue pill?  Do I act as if I don’t know and keep living and leaving the same footprint or do I accept what I know is right and make the changes? I guess this is a bigger question than a blog can handle. 

Nonetheless, I know what it feels like to be sitting on the other side.

Categories: Thoughts